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May 17 2015

ashmarisya
04:23

La Galigo Music Project

Lho? Kenapa tentang La Galigo Music Project dan bukannya FIM?

Selain *uhuk* promosi komunitasku yang satu ini, aku juga mau menjelaskan kenapa aku sekarang ini bisa sampai ke haribaan FIM. Kenapa? Karena pintu gerbangku ikut FIM berawal dari keikutsertaanku di La Galigo Music Project.

Jadi.... apa itu La Galigo Music Project?

La Galigo Music Project merupakan anakan dari Lontara Project, proyek konservasi budaya Indonesia yang berangkat dari mahakarya La Galigo asal Makassar, Sulawesi Selatan. Jelas dari namanya LGMP, La Galigo Music Project, berkonsentrasi di bidang musikal. Jadi sementara Lontara Project punya banyak anakan proyek yang masih berkesinambungan satu sama lain, LGMP memfokuskan diri untuk melakukan konservasi lewat bidang seni musik dan teatrikal. Berhubung akan paaanjaaaaang banget kalau aku berusaha menjelaskan La Galigo dan Lontara Project itu apa, silahkan langsung saja kunjungi website kita disini.

Singkat cerita, aku sudah mendengar sepak terjang beberapa kawanku di Lontara Project ini sejak lama (sebagian karena inisiator dan otaknya merupakan alumni AFS-YES yang kukenal dekat dan sebagian karena ada teman GMCO yang aku kenal ikut terlibat). Waktu itu, aku sedang sibuk mempersiapkan Youth Interfaith Camp tahun 2013 yang mendapat dukungan dari American Council jadi ketika Lontara Project saat itu heboh mengadakan Heritage Camp, aku tidak sempat ikut euphorianya. Aku juga saat itu belum kenal dekat dengan manusia-manusia inisiator proyek tersebut -jadi masih malu-malu kucing penasaran sok pengen tau gitu deh.

Sampai akhirnya aku mendengar kabar bahwa Kak Hima (viola) dan Juli (flute) dari GMCO berangkat ke Belanda sebagai rangkaian proyek dari Lontara Project mengunjungi surga kebudayaan Makassar yang tertinggal di tangan Belanda. Aku yang dari lama sudah agak gatal mendengar tentang LGMP rasanya  makin penasaran dan uuuuh itu apaaa siiih bisa gabung nggak siiiih pengeeeeen kok keren gituuuu.

Rasa penasaran itu akhirnya terjawab ketika Ajeng (rekan sehidup semati di Koordinator Hosting AFS Jogja 2012-2015) tiba-tiba menggaetku ikut.

"Kita butuh pemain biola nih," begitu katanya.

Sangsi dengan skillku, aku sempat mencetuskan nama Mas Danu (yaiya dong ya, kalau ada yang dewa kenapa musti aku yang butiran debu ini yang dilirik). Tapi entah kenapa tawaran itu berakhir dengan aku yang langsung diminta datang ke latihan LGMP (aduh iya, dulu tempat latihannya di kompleks dosen belakang University Club itu duh kangen deh). Dan ternyataaaaa... usut punya usut, pemain biola selain aku yang juga direkrut untuk diajak bergabung adalah.... Mbak Sheila. Iya, Mbak Sheila putrinya Pak Singgih Sanjaya yang jagonya jago banget itu. Parah lah aku langsung minder bak butiran elektron begitu ketemu Mbak Sheila.

"Aku bakal bisa jarang latihan, Luh, kamu yang pegang leadnya aja, ya," begitu kata Mbak Sheila. Kebayanglah gimana nggelosornya aku waktu itu. Seumur-umur terlibat sama Mbak Sheila di GMCO itu ndak pernah sama yang namanya duo begini. Mentok adalah aku cuma bisa melongo ngeliatin Mas Danu sama Mbak Sheila duet. Sebatas itu aja. Eh, ternyata di LGMP ini aku diberi kesempatan MAIN BIOLA, BERDUA, SAMA MBAK SHEILA SANJAYA *nangis*

Tapi butiran elektron ini tetap maju, Mbak Sheila yang luar biasa membantuku untuk tetap percaya diri. Teamwork dengan tim LGMP yang sudah dari lama bareng pun mulai kebentuk (walau masih sering canggung karena, eh ya gimana gitu anak baru masuk gini tiba-tiba nongol sok asik kan malesin kan ya). Beberapa anggota LGMP yang sudah aku kenal (berkat AFS dan GMCO) membantu banget buat aku mulai adaptasi di komunitas baru super kece ini. Passionku di bidang musik dan budaya mulai direbus lagi.


Aku bersyukur banget bisa bergabung di LGMP. Awal mulanya bener-bener cuma Ajeng nanyain "Luh, mau nggak?" tapi kemudian berujung dengan "Besok kita tampil disini-disitu terus main lagu ini-itu ya. Nanti konsep tarinya jadi begini-begitu". Orang-orang yang terlibat didalamnya nggak semuanya orang Makassar, tapi bener-bener semuanya punya niat tulus demi La Galigo ini. Kadang aku sering merasa bersalah karena aku sendiri belum paham betul tentang La Galigo dan detailnya.

Sampai di awal tahun 2014 tetiba muncul pengumuman bahwa Bundanya Kak Dira (pemain biola yang aku gantikan di LGMP karena skripsi) memberikan kesempatan untuk anak LGMP supaya bisa ikut mendaftar di FIM. Waktu itu ingatanku samar banget tentang Kak Dira. Masih inget banget pertama kali aku ketemu Kak Dira itu pas latihan LGMP, Kak Dira bawa makanan camilan gitu dan aku, yang waktu itu merasa beruntung bisa ketemu Kak Dira, langsung sok asik aja nemuin dan peluk cipika cipiki gitu. Yaaa, bentuk rasa terima kasih gitu karena berkat Kak Dira aku jadi bisa bergabung di LGMP (dan yaampun parah waktu itu aku nervous banget masalahnya yang ada di kepalaku cuma woahwoahwoah ini Kak Dira yang udah ke Belanda bareng LGMP main biola disana woah keren bingits).

Anak-anak yang udah lama tergabung di LGMP kenal banget sama Kak Dira dan Bundanya, jadi mereka wah acaranya Bunda nih siapa yang mau ikut. Aku yang masih cengo anak kemarin sore ini merasa terpanggil dan spontan mengajukan diri.

"Kak, aku mau, kirim CV kemana?"

Entah ada angin apa, pokoknya aku merasa aku harus ikut acara FIM ini. Aku pingin tau dunia yang diikuti Kak Dira. Aku pingin tau sosok Bunda ini siapa. Aku pingin tau kenapa banyak yang mengelu-elukan FIM.

Dan semua rasa penasaranku itu akhirnya terjawab begitu aku menjadi bagian dari Forum Indonesia Muda.

May 15 2015

ashmarisya
02:04

Surat Cinta #FIM17 dari Bunda


Semacam pengantar untuk memperkenalkan sosok hebat dan luar biasa di balik FIM :')

May 14 2015

ashmarisya
15:27

Coming Soon

Maaf atas postingan yang kesannya diuber setan. Hahaha. Sebenernya ini ngejar target aja sih, karena banyak yang pingin dilaporkan menjelang tengah tahun. Terutama, karena kemarin sempat ada yang tanya, "Luh, kamu ada postingan blog tentang FIM nggak?"

Nah, tuh, salah satu motivasiku untuk mulai nulis lagi akhirnya ditanya juga (silahkah cek post pertama disini). Jadi karena adanya tuntutan tanggung jawab (dan hutang), akhirnya dikebut lah postingan tentang program pertukaran ke Filipina kemarin (ya nggak dikebut juga sih, sebenernya itu udah lawas banget udah kadaluwarsa ceritanya hahaha).

Untuk itu, siapkan hatinya ya untuk postingan cetar tentang FIM setelah ini. Stay tuned!

ashmarisya
14:56
8517 7d48 390
There are thousand ways to spread love!
ashmarisya
14:50

VE Philippines: Epilogue

This is not the end. There are still a lot of stories to be shared in the short period of my exchange program back in Philippines. But you know, my incapability of wrapping it up into a nice one package of post is hitting rock bottom. There are still unique stories happened..

...such as when we have a culinary class (in which we learn on how to make mango float, best delicacy of Philippines, and we also teach the class on how to make Indonesian cuisine, shout out to nasi goreng and perkedel tahu)...

... or when we need to fill in for the class but ended up discussing about religion..

...when we visited Subanen, an-almost-extinct-tribe in Ozamiz...

...when we failed to join the color run and ended up trashed in Calabayan...

...when we have crazy time together in between schedule...

...when we just couldn't stop whining about how boring Cota is but we still went there to play..

... when some of us were brave enough to taste balot...

... when we meet the moslem community in Misamis University..

... when we bike in the dark and I lost the limit of my adrenaline..

... when we managed to go to Brazil a la Sapang Dalaga...

... and also the moment I shared with my beloved host-family.

Thousand words weren't enough to share them all. There may have been plenty of events slipped out from my memories. I would love to explore them all if there happened to be an inquiry for that (wow now I'm getting ahead of myself hahahah).

Nevertheless, it was such a priceless experience. It only took courage to start them all. Don't be afraid to step forward! Stop dreaming if you don't even have the will to realize it in real life.

Start. Now.
ashmarisya
14:05

First Time

There are always first time for everything. In my case, Philippines is my first time going abroad. And my first time meeting my internet friends.

This is a different story from the previous post since it has nothing to do with exchange program (though there were a lot of exchanging happened eheheheh). But it happened because the courage of two girls, wanting to meet, and yes, true to their words, they finally able to do it.

In internet relationship, nothing is real, they said. It is just an illusion, an imaginary universe that makes you think that you have friends in the other side of the world. Parents will say that such a thing as internet friends is fake, that they are actually a predator waiting to attack on their prey by sugarcoat words ro fake friends invitation. People who never dives into cyber world knows nothing about bond that can only exist once you click login. Normal people wouldn't know.

But it is real. Internet friendship is exist. And it's not a fake at all since people usually reveal their own self to their internet friends. Difference in time and distance makes them unashamed of what they really are. They are freer. Braver. And more confident.

Courage.

That's the key. When an internet relationship wants a meet up, it means both parties are ready to meet the other part as who they are. Embarrassing side sure is there but once we know that we're in the right hand, nothing matters anymore.

As for me, it was started from my initiative on twitter. Having known that a lot of my fangirl friends are from Philippines, I encouraged myself to tweet a short condition of mine.

"anyone from philippine? i need direction for a trip there. probably one that i can spend few hours around manila airport"

It was just a random and playful tweet but somehow it was the turning point of things in my life. That a friend, out of nowhere, not really that close before, only casually talked via twitter in few similar topics and bickering about fangirl stuffs, suddenly came to my aid

"Me! What's your itinerary?"

After that moment, things went down slowly. At first it was just a casual twitter talk about one day trip in Manila (since the plan was that I have one free day after my exchange program finished and I didn't know what to do in the capital city, Manila, waiting for my flight home with that amount of time) then it turned out to be serious talk in email. We then managed to exchange our real identities (and oh my god, if she isn't the cutest thing I've ever met). Planning to visit (if not wrecking the other's house) fangirl friend (which happened to be confined in the house for some reasons) not far from the airport. And managed to short out some ways on how to do a quick sightseeing in the closest mall.

At first I was full doubt of myself. Leaving Kuka alone in the airport (well, though he managed to visit few museums in Manila all alone) and meeting with strangers were absolutely out of my imagination. But then it happened. I was there, outside of the airport, waving to a group of girls who were already waiting for my appearance (red jacket, peach headscarf). It turned out that my new friend invited two other friends to join us and, oh, if it wasn't my best moment ever!

We exchanged our fangirl identities and our real names. Though in between we managed to mix the names (sometimes calling with fangirl names sometimes with real names), it was still enjoyable. It felt like finally I was in the place with people who knows both of my sides. My real and alias. It felt so wrong but it was just so right.

I didn't want to elaborate much on their identities *wink*. But at least I can tell you on how we managed our surprise visit to Kye's house.

Ang, me, Kye, Denise, and Cha. Exchanging doodles and words in our short meeting after a delicious lunch provided by Kye's mother <3

It was also started from a normal twitter conversation. Making fun of each other's condition when finally we were joking about dropping by in her house in our planned Manila short trip.

This. I was sooo grateful that we managed to go to her house (it was worth getting lost in the unknown area at least, hahahhah). Not only because I also managed to ride Jeepney and the infamous MetroRail in one go, it was because I managed to find another true friend from internet.

Kye, due to her condition, were confined in the house and wasn't able to go out freely like normal teenager does. I was so happy when I finally managed to meet her in person. The quirk of meeting internet friendship is when you don't know how to act in front of each other you started to act all shy and reclusive. That was what happened with Kye. We didn't manage to make her reveal herself (with the way she is all snarky and active on cyber hahaha) but I managed to bind myself deeper with her afterwards. She is now my skype buddy and the ice between us started to melt through time -although the conversation is still mainly me chattering non stop, oh the habit of being a chatterbox.

It was fun having a skype call with her. Such a cutie pie she is! >_<)/

After that, not only because of them I managed to go to the closest mall to satisfy my shopping list (and it's not even a Philippines souvenir, it's a fandom stuff hahahah!), I also managed to arrive in the airport safely before the scheduled time. Denise even gave me a mysterious brown envelope, in which I promised to open it once I arrived in my hometown (and I exploded into pieces when I opened the gift, leaving me sobbing hard in front of my laptop, thousand tweets and pictures for my gratitude wouldn't ever be able to repay my happiness of meeting them, especially Denise).

In this small part of my experience, I only want to convey the message that things always go in a way that we don't expect, but surely, it's something that you need to go through. Go out from your comfort zone. Compile your courage enough to break the wall. If it's not for my brave will at that time, I would never be able to experience such a priceless meeting with awesome internet friends.

There will always a way. No, it is always there, laid out in front of you, you just need to dip out your feet from your comfortable sneakers and enjoy the fluffy feeling of the path prepared for you.
ashmarisya
12:54

VE Philippines #5

Done with differences, now I want to talk about similarities. As much as people say that we find love through differences, we also find mutual understanding due to similar background –that is, similarities.

We can almost find similarities in every difference that we have. We’re all human despite the race and religion. Every bit of simple similarities can tie up two people who clashed due to differences.

The same thing happened to me in Philippines.

Outside from the differences that I have faced in Philippines, I got lots of valuable experiences in where I find other parts of myself in the place where I’ve never imagined before.

As a moslem girl in a foreign country, I will never expect my other side of personality, that is, me being a fangirl, to show up right away in the very second I arrived there. Since, well, I happened to have this burden as exchange student and being that means I need to manage my composure (fangirls tends to blabber nonstop about things that they like, mind that), I’m so surprised, flabbergasted if I may say, when I got this amazing woman as my Ate (big sister, although she already owns two children) with her complete set of book collection.

 

complete series of Star Trek, Riordan's serials, Tolkiens, Harry Potter, and and and ohmygod am I in heaven? :""""")

In our first dinner, she asked me “I saw you coming with a Doctor Who pin on your headscarf, are you possibly—“ and yes, at that exact moment, I exploded. We chatted through the night. How she likes fantasy and how I like science fiction. How I’m currently reading Paulo Coelho (later time she even put an effort to find me a book from Mitch Albom that I want to own eventhough sh couldn’t find it but oh, she gave me a Dan Brown’s one that I haven’t read so yeah I’m so happy I can go to heaven) and how she is crazy with Start Trek and Tolkien. She is the exact embodiment of Tolkien’s fans, I told you. I just realized it when she pointed out that there is a frame ready to be placed on the wall in the guest room and it is the map of middle earth. I feel like I can die happy at that time. Hahahahah.

Other than that, I happened to encounter few events in which I can oblige myself happily since it’s also another part of me. If I may say, the part of me being a fangirl really helped a lot. But no, this time I want to talk about my other side, my musical side. The knowledge of me being able to play music is not a common thing, especially with people in a new circle, also, I didn’t bring any music valuable thing back in Phlippines so I can only rely on daily conversations to share stuffs. Then it happened.

It was when Seer (yeay, I mentioned you here bruh, be grateful okay) played a song from his phone and it’s the mix from my favorite youtube channel. In a second, all hell breaks loose. We talked a lot about our youtube journey, and how we like the same genre of music, and then others started to dig in. It turned out that Guilermo (yo Panamanian boyfriend, you finally made it to my blog) and Tiph (I miss you my Belgium girl!) also have the similar taste. And so we talked, we shared, we chatted a lot. It was fun since it’s only a small thing that put us together –moreover it’s all about music! Now I know why I can never move on from this hobby of mine. Music bridges everything. As much as our genre differs, the talk about fine tunes and favorite songs, are more than enough to keep us in bond.

(and then the fact that Seer is a god of keyboard player and that Guil also played violin surprised me so much I was so disappointed that we couldn’t try to make a band together)

Even when I only met someone in a whim, God, I don’t even remember their names, we can convey our feelings together, because of the similarities between us. One moment I was talking about cosplay event happened in the city (a week after I went home to Indonesia) with new friend and another moment I was talking about superstitious stuffs with my Tatay (grandfather). Making surprises for Lewie to cheer up on her exam week with my doodle and playing together with Yuri finishing Avengers puzzles (viva the life of big sister). I can meet new people and share little similarities. It’s not always perfect, but it’s what binds us to collide. One time I was in a moslem community meeting in Misamis University (thank you for the trip Sam, you’re so awesome –and pretty eheheh), but other time I was biking to death to enjoy the sunset together with crazy fellas.

Those similarities can also happen in a flash of moment. Like my broken Japanese bickering with Yuka (okay, you played a lot of part in my Japanese debut, bakayuka). Or when I shared an eye glance with Kuka when things went weird (like when we tried to cook Indonesian cuisine in that cooking class, remember?). Or when I was in the airport, asking for a stamp in the immigration section and the staff was asking for my nationality and continued with “Do you like Stark family?” then when I didn’t understand what he meant, he pointed out my direwolf pin on my headscarf and I was like, yeah, grinning happily (if not crazily) since miracles do happen. Sometimes, it happened in place and time you never imagined –even in your wildest dream.

ashmarisya
12:01

VE Philippines #4

Differences

Exchange program is one from many ways for people to learn about each other. This program, through one brave soul, will bridge a lot of differences happened between two or more parties. In my case, I was Indonesia’s representative to learn about Philippines, while people there could get the glimpse of Indonesia by watching me.

Majority of my friends back in Indonesia was practically reacting “Whoa! Exchange program? Where? Oh, Philippines, okay” when they knew that I was going to go for few weeks in Philippines. They have similar reaction, thinking that an exchange in Philippines is dull and lame because 1) they are practically the same Asian country; 2) not a white people country; and 3) it feels like only a crossing island trip.

But every place has its own quirk, and as many similarities as people can think between Indonesia and Philippines, differences still exists. And now, I’m going to talk about the differences that I’ve faced t between Indonesia and Philippines while I was away in my Volunteer Exchange Program.

First, religion.

This is an obvious difference between Philippines and Indonesia –especially since I was placed in an area in the southern Philippines which is currently having a dispute between the national force and the Islamic Region. Majority of beliefs in Philippines is Catholic while in Indonesia, we have Islam as majority. The differences are really really really big (you can see it by the way I was picturing the condition in the previous posts)

Second, orderliness.

I don’t know about other areas in Philippines but in Ozamiz, we absolutely have no traffic light. Not even one. Vehicles are walking aimlessly, people are swarming in every part of the road, the city is bustling without order. But there are hardly any accident, brutal shouting, or fight over a road. Everything just happened normally. It sure is weird; how can you stay in order when there are no straight lines to keep you intact?

Oh, and also talking about how people are so diligently keeping things in order, as much as similar we are between Indonesians and Filipinos (things as developing countries anxiety and ambitious citizens), people in there are paying high regards towards the culture of ‘lining up’. THIS. This is what I love from seeing a humanized version of human (okay, I gotta say that the culture in Indonesia about queue is really, really bad). They have the same condition as us yet they still know how to place themselves in society. When there is the need of a queue, they will stand in line, waiting for their turns –and not brutally stand besides the other, ruining the line without order.

Third, respects.

It’s not a common difference. Actually, it’s almost bordering similarities. Eastern culture forces us to pay our respects towards elderly, sure majority of countries in Asia continent still practicing this eastern  culture, yet what I like about this part is when it comes to policy, the local government dip a hand down on it.

Nothing can be ensured unless there is a regulation for that. And in Philippines, particularly in Ozamiz, I got to experience what it is like to be placed in environment where the people are working together creating a harmonious atmosphere. Lines were created for different purposes, elderly, mother and children, and then normal healthy people. Cashiers were divided into parts, where elderly with pension can easily go through –also getting a good discount on stuffs due to their respectable hard works in the past. The older you get, the more respects you earn, and the more you want to share your knowledge to the youngers. It’s a common thing to have an organization in the city ruled out by a good cooperation between every element in the society. Meetings are held, involving representatives from the children association, youth communities, elderly leaders, and also part of the city such as the front liners or even the city council itself. So awesome.

Theirs maybe still not perfect, but when the citizens and the government can work something out together, it means that they’ve reached mutual understanding since they want to work in sync to attain something greater (well, because you know, citizens and government in Indonesia tend to have their heads bumped to each other, right?)

Fourth, cuisine.

This is a big deal since it is also covered with other things involved on it, religion and local customs. Pork, pork, pork everywhere. If back in Indonesia you can find bakso (meatball) or  mie ayam (chicken noodle) everywhere, in Philippines you can almost find pork everywhere. In case you smell something being grilled deliciously, no it’s not a sate (satay), it’s a grilled pork. Score!

And party? Filipinos knows how to party well. How to set the full course of food, the event, and the after party –drinks! I have my own policy regarding alcohol but, nah, it’s something that I can only tell you in person (oh the quirk of science student). But I really respect on how well they treated the guests and all. I can never move on from Filipinos’ party –even if it’s just a birthday party!

Also, don’t forget about the sweetness of the food. You may have already heard about the distinctive taste of Asian cuisine being sweet and all but wow food in Philippines is the real deal. They are not hesitant to put every sweet thing onto the pan and voila, you can almost say you have your dessert already included on your main course. I have this weird sensation when they generalized moslem as a group who worships spicy food. I mean, wait, I’m sorry, are you serious? (although I can see it why since curry and spices and all). Then I tried to explain on how it is just the effect of the culture and no, Islam isn’t always about spicy food and so does the opposite. Luckily, I’m coming from Yogyakarta which is famous from its sweetness (either for the food or the hospitality *wink*), so I can relate to their confusion about spicy food.

Weird, and all the good talks about bridging the differences between cultures are all starting from a set of meal. True to its words, peace starts from the dining table!

February 16 2015

ashmarisya
12:25

VE Philippines #3

There are a lot of things for me to straighten up about Islam back in Philippines.

They thought that headscarf (or hijab) is an obligation for women in Islam. Sure, it is. But not only telling them the reason why girl needs to cover themselves, I also explained that it was also a choice. If a girl were to believe she is able to protect herself without covering herself in a veil, then yes that was her choice not to wear it. Just like a religion being a way to choose, clothing is also your choice. I also explained how the policy in certain region could affect the taken choice, especially in an area with a strict policy or syariah rules, majority of the girl will oblige to wear a veil. Nevertheless, it's still a choice. And hey, hijab is everyone's choice, not only in Islam. You ought to read more if you think that headscarf is a symbol for Islam *sighs*

They knew that pork and alcoholic drink is forbidden for moslem -yet they didn't know the reason. I tried as much as I could to explain but wait, even after I read a lot of articles, debates, and researches about it, those two apples are still difficult to pertain. I did my best to transpire every knowledge that I know about it, also the fact that it's not only Islam, there are also few statement in the Old Testament and in between Jews that swine is prohibited. Therefore, outside the religion guide, I also explained the effect of pork and liquor from health point of view (yey viva thepower of science student).
"In my opinion, I think it's the way of Islam to protect the followers from getting into troubles (swine and alcohol after-effect)"
The weird thing is because some people thought that pork is forbidden because God put all the sins in the world inside the stomach of a pig, thus here comes the hell if we were to eat pig. I want to laugh at that statement but wow where did you get the information like seriously, I decided to explain it carefully. Oh the ignorance is killing me.

They thought about the polygamy idea from Islam and took it as a form of degrading women. At this topic, I cringed myself so hard. I had to be objective not to put my feminism side (lol the quirk of someone who seeks for equaliity) mixed with my religious side. I tried to explain the whole reason behind the idea of polygamy and the fact that Islam is actually regarding women more than anything. It's hard to transpire the knowledge fully without a full course on it, heck I'm not even knowledgeable enough about it, but I tried. And I think I can deliver the general idea of it.
Pssh, I hate the idea of my future-husband having other wives so yeah you got my own point.

Actually there are a lot of things they misunderstood from Islam. And a two-week stay isn't enough to convince them that Islam is harmless, but at least I got my job done in my surrounding there. I hope at least in other place, there are also people (not only moslem, but one with enough knowledge about Islam) out there who are willing to spread the knowledge.

I hope.
ashmarisya
11:37

Spread The Words!

Huraaah! I’m already back home in my lovely city, Yogyakarta! Wait, that doesn’t mean I’ll stop posting about all of my precious experiences back in Philippines. The list just goes on longer, honestly. Eheheheh :D

Okay, back to the hot topic in which I need to face a lot when I was staying abroad. Since I am wearing a headscarf (as in, you call it hijab), almost every subject that I went through was usually about my identity as a moslem. The point is, majority of the people in Philippines are all Roman Catholic. I expect there would be a different treatment towards moslem, especially when the country itself has a war brewing between the nation force versus the militant group acting in the name of Islam. Basically, you could say that there are some groups here in Philippines, acting rebellious, war, and all, tainting the name of my religion worse than before.

With what happened in the world right now, ISIS, Charlie Hebdo, Chapel Hill, and now, the things happened in Philippines, I dare to say that the image of Islam is not really good. To add things up, ignorant people weren’t given the right information about Islam so wohoooo my responsibility as one of the Islam entity just got a wholesome heavy.

And, I’m not even one good example as a moslem. Sure, I am wearing headscarf as my identity, but truthfully, I’m not religious enough to set a good example for people. I am just a normal, average girl –carefree but not really going in the liberal way. I’m not the conservative type who would clasp my hand in front of my chest to avoid direct contact with opposite gender –I know the limit of casual touch and I can oblige to adapt with the international circle around me (actually I’ve been there, errr, and that didn’t suit me well). I didn’t go to a routine meeting for a communal quran reading, a halaqah (you can call it a circle for people with the same vision and mission in a religious aspect in order to share knowledge and study the holy book together), but I make sure to read thoroughly about my own religion.

My family is not the traditional and conservative type but my mother make sure that if I chose Islam, I need to do it right. Pray five times a day, read quran because it is our guide in life, stay away from the things that will drag you to the fire of hell (you know, it’s like the seven deadly sins, basically it’s almost the same only in different form). Yet outside of my Islamicity, I also have life as a normal teenager. Having the same problem just like another college student around the world, being active in several youth communities, reading books and stuffs, still passionate as ever in the world of music and art, and even fangirling over silly stuffs. Hello, world, I am a moslem girl and I live my life normally.

I am 21 years old and I chose Islam not because I was born with it, but because I know it’s the most suitable way of worshiping the Divine One for me (cheers for Anjar for her Hindu choice and Kristine for her Catholic choice, I’m grateful to be able to know the both of you with similar point of view). Our world has the same creator, it’s just the way of worshipping Him is different thus the various methods and names of religion exists. It’s just like a part of this song from my country:

God is only one, it’s just us that different

But does the difference in religion make us differ our way to treat each other? Nothing could be a good parameter on how you could treat someone but your humanity. You do me good, I do you good. Treating others differently just because they aren’t one of your circles won’t justify anything. Race, religion, nationality, wealth, sickness, sexual preference, and any other things which keep draw a line between us. What does it good to us if we were only to favor someone due to certain aspect?

We’re all different. If you want to justify others by putting people in boxes, you will never be able to put everyone in the same box. What people need to do is how to put a good order in those boxes, treating them carefully because every box has the right to receive the same treatment. We’re all just human, who are we to play God?

And just because few people been nasty and terrorizing, it doesn’t mean you can generalize the bad idea for the whole group. Sure there are a lot of groups acting sick in the name of Islam, but does that make you think that I have the same trait with them just because I have the same religion of them? People nowadays just want the instant way to solve things down. They tend to blind themselves from the truth. They have time to clarify things but they weren’t really informed about it so the media justify things for them. What people need is a different perspective to accept things objectively. That, is my obligation to make people see Islam differently by looking at me through the exchange program that I’ve had. I’m pretty sure my behavior isn’t the best one as an example but at least I can tell people that there exists a moslem girl living her life no different than others –blood and flesh in front of them.

In Philippines, I had to do a lot of facepalm since there are a lot of judgments for Islam. False labeling, if I would say. One part, I’m quiet sad that oh my god they weren’t truly informed about my religion but in another time, I’m happy to answer their curiosity. As Islam representative, I would like to answer hundreds question just to clear the misunderstanding in their heads about Islam. I can be their source of answer –I’m pretty confident with a general knowledge, okay. The most hurting fact is that if it happened in my community back in my city in Philippines, then it should be happened also in another place. And oh dude, imagine how many million people were wrongly informed? No wonder there are always dispute in the worldwide in the name of religion, they didn’t have the right source to bridge their misunderstandings!

Imagine that there are two people playing swords with their eyes covered blind. That was what happening right now, and we need to put a stop to it.

It happens not only with Islam, but also with other certain aspects that we can relate. In Philippines, Roman Catholic is the majority so Islam is pretty much a minority. Here, in Indonesia, Islam is the majority thus making Christian and Catholic as the minority. Misunderstanding happens everywhere, and the only thing to solve is a bridge.

And knowledge, my friend, is the bridge. 

February 07 2015

ashmarisya
11:32
0697 4314 390
Calabayan, Ozamiz

It is all about flowing river, branches framed sky, slippery rocks, countless cow mooing the grass, crowds of people washing clothes, children swimming, and bunch exchangees throwing frisbee (also apparently immature enough to have a water-war and losing a shirt)

Merci, Quentin Faure!
ありがちゅ Yuka Kato!
Nuwun, Kharisar Kahfi!
Salamat!
ashmarisya
06:44

I'm Sorry, Quentin

This is an open-letter for Quentin Faure, a very brave soul from France.

Eventhough it was a partial crime partnership with Yuka Kato (yes, I am not sorry for mentioning your involvement here, Bakayuka), I feel like writing this apology will lessen my guilt.

I know you love your shirt so much (you even tried to save it from getting wet) and I am sorry for making fun of you (the situation encouraged me to do so, well, with the way you were completely getting me drenched in the river). Yuka was helping me so it felt right for me to avenge my wetness.

However, making Yuka unable to catch my throw and resulting in your lovely shirt got swamped by the current, swirling hopelessly and disappeared into the darkness of river water, was completely my mistake.

I, Shuluh Ashmarisya, hereby claimed myself as guilty for making you, Quentin Faure, lose your favorite shirt. And I am also sorry for every vain effort and the following moment regarding your shirt (also with the way the native people were helping us groping every rocks in the river faintly hoping we could find a curled white shirt of yours).

The fact that you brought that shirt from France was not helping me feeling better, so, ugh, please tell me your address in France so later time I can send you a Jogja shirt for you (yes, this is a promise). I know writing this apologyshit will not giving your shirt miraculously back to your closet but, err, at least give me a chance to make me feel less guilty (OKAY NEVERMIND I AM STILL AT FAULT ALRIGHT I KNOW).

Anyway, thank you for giving me an amazing experience in Calabayan. That was fun (and utterly agonizing because of the losing shirt accident). My leg hurts but my heart burst. It was really really really enjoyable (not that I am enjoying being a criminal, okay).

Thank you Quentin (and Yuka and Kuka also). I promise I will not call you as pancit canton again. Oh, you can call me as an Indonesian ancient tribe rep rice eating species if you want --and if it makes you feel better about your shirt, you are welcome to humiliate me with that ultimate frisbee throw as much as you want.

And again, sorry.



Sincerely,
Shuluh Ashmarisya
Pereyra Village, Maningcol, Ozamiz
VE PH 2015

February 06 2015

ashmarisya
13:42

VE Philippines #2

Let me write this down first before I forgot everything.

Today, 6th February, is the day when I finally realized that adrenaline rush is nothing but a conscious dying. Oh, let me warn you first hand, this certain post is more like me rambling about WOW YEAH I'M NOT IN INDONESIA WOHOOOO

Okay, before I'm going to the story, I will introduce my city, Ozamiz. Well, as you can see, you can check it out on Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ozamiz) or just scroll to Google for further information. We have the Spanish Fort, the Bukagan Hill, Mt. Malindang and lots of catholic churches with their own histories. Of course I need to bold and italicthe fact that Ozamiz, my lovely little city, is placed in Mindanao. Yeah, Mindanao, in which if you heard the spreading news about some extremist moslems offering war, is somehow already enlisted as a red zone.

"What?! You are from Mindanao?! Are you crazy?! You are going to get killed!"

Yes, thank you ignorant people. I am here and I am not dying because of an extremist trying to pull a trigger on my head, okay. I am safe and sound. In fact, Ozamiz is placed in Misamis Occidental (Region X), not in the heart of Magindanao with the flaming warflag. Buuuuut, our region was like, twelve hours away from the ARMM (please refer to google I am too tired to attach a link lol).

I can say I am safe. But at the same time, no. Why?

Because Ozamiz is actually the heartbeat of illegal stuffs in southern Philippines. Whoops, no telling, but I can give you a little treat. There is this group here (like Italian Mafia, Chinese Triad, American Gangster, or Indonesian Preman) whose name should not be mentioned. This you-know-who group was so secret-not-so-secretly famous and alive until now. I am not talking about Voldemort but I can tell you that sometimes their name could be mentioned in between conversation for a laughing matter but at the same time spelling their name was like asking death of god to scythe your neck. Okay, I gave up, this is their wikipedia page (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kuratong_Baleleng). They started as a vigilante group and it reminds me of Vongola Family (sorry fangirl habit dies hard). They even have their own movies!
Now eventhough they are very much alive, still having smooth businesses here and there (shabu and weaponry, anyone?), Ozamiz civillians are pretty much living their lives peacefully. I do not know the deal but yeah, as long as you are not crossing path with them, you will be okay (this rule is apparently well applied in daily lives).

Actually, despite those things, Ozamiz is pretty much a lively and peaceful city --if not small. Having motocab and pedicab also did not help the size complexion of it (it is only 170 km2 alright). I can travel from place to place easily, and even in my third day, I'm already able to walk alone in the city.

But after one week being here, finally I experienced something which drained my blood agonizingly (it is also because of the adrenaline rush, okay).

At first it was just a casual "Shuluh, I have heard the news that someone is getting shot at Pereyra Village, do you know something?" but then the news sank onto me. Pereyra is my village and I was like "WHAT I KNOW NOTHING". I turned to Viktor (yes, Czech guy, I mentioned your name here) which is my very very very close neighbor but got no answer because he also heard nothing about the news. To my utter horror, when later time at dinner I confirm it with my nanay (host-mother), I got the answer that there was really are a shooting accident involving a fugitive one block behind my house [backsound of me sobbing internally]

Getting the confirmation of the story at dinner was not helping my brave soul because it was like adding fire to the bunsen. Why?

Here is why. It was because before getting to hear the news, I was already spent from an adrenaline rush of a really amazing and challenging biking activity. Of course it was so much fun when you; 1) have three stupid-not-so-stupid companies with different nationalities altogether, 2) have not been biking since two years ago, 3) are wearing a really uncomfortable jeans as your biking pant, 4) are heaving a wow-so-not-light bag behind your back, 5) are crossing an up and hill of a freaking hill without warming up, 6) went back from the beach in the dark crossing a nest of dangerous hoodlums place, and 7) are away far from your house and you just do not know how will you get home safely.

"This place is dangerous, I'm sorry for being strict but this is for your safety. I will push you when you want to rest" [cue of this so-suddenly-gentleman Pancit Quentin Canton from France pedaling his mountain bike beside the tired me, trying to encourage and pushing me ahead as mush as he could]

"Are you okay?" [sorry Yuka, when we start biking I was mocking you like what, I thought Japanese people are used to work out so much but then it turned out it was me who just sucks at biking]

and finally, "Few days ago someone got killed here in this road, can you pedal faster when I signaled you to do it?"

Thankyou, my beautiful Tanissa, if not for your strong soul, I would not be home by now. Since we separated both ways, Tanissa and I were forced to go home the opposite direction. Few meters after we separated, this kind-hearted Germany girl then delivered the final blow. She suddenly stopped under the streetlight (I tried to hide my wheezing breaths and my dying face desperately) and whispered to me about the accident few days ago. The energy that had been sucked out from Quentin's military encouragement suddenly lit up back to the half-dead-half-life me. What I want was just arrived at Tanissa's house, return her bike, and go home safely to have my peaceful dinner.

And voila, I arrived at the house right for dinner (with trembling legs, uncontrolled heartbeats, and a flickering vision) from the power of 30PHP pedicab --yeah I do not care whether it was expensive or not a normal price but who cares about money when all what you want is safety. But being home also means that I need to tell the family what is going to happen to my plan for weekend.

The grandeur hiking plan for my weekend (my last weekend in Ozamiz, sobs) was all cancelled.

My heart breaks even more when I saw that the whole house was supporting me looking for camping-stuff such as bag-pack, food and drink supplies, dining tools, headlamp, blanket and sleeping bag. I feel like I ripped their efforts to help me collecting stuffs.

And the reason why it got cancelled is just another idea to make my stomachache got worse than before.

The patrol around the hiking site found out about few activities from a rebellious group confronting the government occurred around the mountain and said that it was best to keep foreigners away from there (especially with what happened already to Japanese and Jordanian hostage in the worldwide). The appointment was cancelled. The camping and the overnight schedule was gone from the journal.

When I tried to match all the puzzles, I only got more dizziness because the more I think about it, the more I feel like I am in a strange land full of unexpected events --and not really a good one. Yet at the same time I feel safe because I know there will always be a way for me to get out from the danger. It was just like the world wanted to show me that there are something out there happening and waiting to be brought up to the surface. That there are places in this world who does not feel peace at all.

Ah, no complaint (honestly it is an unearthy experience) but yeah, welcome to Ozamiz City, Misamis Occidental, Northern Mindanao, Philippines~
ashmarisya
06:06

VE Philippines #1

Why bother to go to Philippines?

At first I was in denial about the destination. It is because people see Philippines as nothing special (as well as another neighbor countries). It is not US with its glamorous lifestyle or European countries with the amazing borderline. Eventhough later I have experience in Philippine, people will just, meh it is the same Asia. I even tried to change direction to another VE in India but then I realized life has given me chance to go to Philippines, so, yeah, Philippines it is.

You know what?

It has been a week and I already learned so much things. Imagine that you need to cramp all of those experience that usually took an exchange student a whole ten months into a simple exchange for two weeks. I am running out of time while there are a lot of things out there waving for me.

Despite all of the similarities between Indonesia and Philippines, we have a great deal of difference. The people, the system, the hospitality, the buildings, the policy, the customs, everything! I feel like I am home in Yogyakarta but at the same time I am alienated when the voices and talks around me are all in Bisaya. The worse, since there are not much differences between my Indonesian face and Filipinos face, people will try talking to me in Bisaya. That is the deal.

Yet, it is too much of coincidence because I am being sent here in the right moment when a certain part of Philippines is having a hard time with the moslem rebels. Worse (or better), I am placed in the chapter which is magically in the same region as the problematic area. And as a moslem myself, I feel like I have this burden inside my heart telling me, this is where you are playing the role of peace messenger as a moslem. I feel like I am suddenly a UN representative in a warzone.


The fact that the country has lost their forces made me curl. My heart clenched when I saw every banner in Manila displayed the widespread condolences after the bravest souls. Suddenly, my whole life as a moslem in Indonesia means nothing, how do I act in the place where Islam is a minority will show the world who l really am.

Actually, this is what I always dreamed of, getting out from a comfort zone. Indonesia has given me a lot of comfort zones that I only realized it when it was taken from me, a life where Islam is the majority. But when I am here, in Philippines, especially in Mindanao region where the chaos between country forces and extremist ensues, my behavior as a moslem entity is being watched. And the dread suddenly came onto me, am I good enough as a representative, can I really show them that Islam is truthfully, a peaceful religion? (because God knows, with all the commotion in the worldwide right now, I doubt the world will acknowledge Islam as peaceful as it says -with the way ISIS, Charlie Hebdo case, and the MILF in Philippines has happened now)

Thankfully, I am a crazy moslem girl. I am an anomaly so yeah, I am succeeding my role to show that Islam is not about forcing others with gun, bomb, and violence. That Islam is about a normal daily activities when we breath the same air, speaks the same human language, eat the same thing (oops no pork no alcoholic though). The only difference? Our beliefs, that is it. I want to tell the whole world that, DAMN WE ARE THE SAME HUMAN BEING ARE YOU JUDGING ME JUST BECAUSE SOME RASCALS OUT THERE DOING BAD THINGS IN THE NAME OF MY RELIGION AND HENCE YOU CONCLUDE THAT THE WHOLE ISLAM IS A BLOODTHIRSTY MONSTER NO YOU DUMMY STOP GENERALIZING THINGS FOR ME whooops sorry for the capslock but yeah, that is the point.

At my classes, in which I am supposed to teach (or having a presentation) about Indonesia's culture, the topic drifted drastically to a faith-based discussion. My partner and I, tried as much as we can to satisfy their curiosities about Islam. I bet for my mango float, I did almost third-part the talk (no offense but I think I am knowledgeable enough than my partner to engage in this kind of discussion, I am, afterall, a species you would like to call as a seeker).

Still, without the help of my partner, my coordinator (yes Miss Cee, I owe you a lot), and one class-advisor, I would not be able to reach their heart.

The class-advisor, the one that Miss Cee told me to call him burikat (wait I am not degrading him, it is a love-filled nickname okay, and I am not the one who initiates it, anyway, it is also one of my way that as a moslem I can also be playful at throwing jokes, lol yes I am showing the world that I am a normal teenager who sometimes likes to defile my own mouth with a swearing words mwahahah), helped my explanation with a heartwarming comment I can toss him my vodka.

"..it is true that with their visit, we can also learn that there are another side of Islam, especially Islam in Indonesia. This is what we need to know and study further, we need not to judge them because, yeah, you know, I think Islam is the most misunderstood religion so by watching them here [cue of me doing a bad pirouette in front of the class] is a refreshing thing for us."

I gave him my best standing ovation I've ever did (mostly because I was already in a standing position at that time). I cried inside my heart, okay, this is the thing of being an exchangee, you are the ambassador of your own and having this lovely burikat class-leader conclude it in a sweet statement made me bloom like a firework. I feel the warmth seeping from this unknown place.

Suddenly, being a UN representative in a warzone does a wonder in my heart.

February 02 2015

ashmarisya
13:17

VE Philippines: Prologue

A conflict is always started in misconception, the inability to accept differences, and the lack of communication. What makes it last long is because people are in denial to make peace, they want no dispute but at the same time they want to prove that they are the right one. This is why we still have war at this time of ages. It is because the majority of the people want to declare that they are the almighty one, the truest party.

Exchange program, in which one is brave enough to take the challenge to be hosted in a new environment with different cultures and customs, is one of the good ideas to provide a better channel for communication between people. There will be no misunderstanding because the experience from the program will enlighten their blindness into something. Take for example, the commotion between races. If only one little part of them knew each other, there would not be any problem. They will learn about each other and they will know that befriending people does not mean we need to judge them from race only. After spreading their knowledge about the real fact behind their false accusation, they will start to accept each other as human, with no attachment on them, and living life in peace because there is no problem between them –because they already understand each other.

What we need to do to avoid those uncalled is the better understanding. That is it. That is the point of exchange program. So, since it is impossible to have everyone experience an exchange program, why do not we start to spread the influences right now?

Inspired by Gaby’s blog (gabriel-philippines.tumblr.com) and also irritated from the heartless returnees of exchange student program who did nothing after went through the program (I mean, what they do after the program is just boasting around that they have one year experience here and there and do nothing but clinging on their exchange year –not being able to move on), I want to start writing something useful that I can share with people. That, if there are people who drops by in this tiny little soup of mine and are all willing to read my words vomiting action. LOL

I will try to write everything that I’ve met and experienced during my stay in Philippine, especially in Ozamiz City. I want people who reads (and maybe is having the same insecurity as a moslem girl with head scarf staying in another country, especially a country with a high commotion about radical Islam) knows what really happened so they will have the picture of it.

One other reason of a misunderstanding is because there will be time when both opposing parties will assume things about the others and start concluding a false statement. I want people to stop assuming, and maybe after reading my experience, they will have a better image about it.

 

ps: I know I am not a good writer in english but please understand my humble intention okay *winkwinkwink*

ashmarisya
00:58

VE Philippines

Kebetulan sedari tanggal 29 Januari 2015 sampai tanggal 15 Februari 2015 ini aku terlibat satu program dari AFS, Volunteer Exchange, ke Filipina. Dari AFS-Yayasan Bina Antarbudaya Indonesia, ada tiga delegasi yang terpilih (tadinya sih empat tapi kemudian karena satu dua hal, seseorang mengundurkan diri). Aku wakil dari Chapter Yogyakarta, Kuka dari Chapter Jakarta, dan Kak Bahrudin dari Chapter Karawang. Kebetulan sekali, aku dan Kuka yang sepantaran ditempatkan di satu chapter yang sama, Chapter Ozamiz, yang terkenal sebagai chapter paling kece hehehehe.

Untuk postingan VE Philippines ini, selanjutnya akan aku tulis dalam bahasa Inggris (yaaa walaupun grammar dan kapabilitas otak ini masih cetek).

Kenapa dalam bahasa Inggris?

Bukannya mau sok-sokan lho ya, tapi setiap program pertukaran selalu memiliki misinya, di AFS, misi utama kita adalah bridging people through multicultural experience. Jadi aku pengen nih, semua nilai-nilai yang aku dapat dari program ini, bisa aku sampaikan ke banyak orang di luar sana. Aku pingin buah yang aku petik ini, bisa aku bagikan ke orang lain, supaya yang bisa merasakan manisnya nggak cuma aku.

Oke deh, stay tuned ya!

January 25 2015

ashmarisya
12:23
8321 582c 390
2.5hrs, SNOWMAN 0.1 0.2, Faber Castell Pitt Artist S

Dedicated for FIM17 Bung Hatta Teladan Beta.
For further information please check @fimnews on twitter or directly visit forumindonesiamuda.org!
Tags: FIM art drawing

January 17 2015

ashmarisya
01:37
How to change the world? Change yourself
— Shuluh Ashmarisya

January 13 2015

ashmarisya
08:12

Reuni #2

ada arteri yang tiba-tiba berdesir
hei lihat itu pangeranmu diujung sana
datang dari masa lalu membawa debar yang tertinggal
dan kamu disini membeku dalam kalut
menelan ludah pahit dari penolakan tak terucap
juga langkah mati rasa yang tergantung di hilir hati
temanmu menepuk bahumu menghibur
"Jangan sedih. Jangan sedih"
kamu tertawa sekecut nipis
"Sudah habis. Sudah habis"
tangan terkibas mengindikasikan ingatan yang dihapus paksa
sambil menghelas napas kau buang sial kemarin sore
menyembunyikan luka yang perih segan sembuh tak mau
lalu mata kalian bertemu
dua jantung berdetak tak karuan
satu degup penuh dengan kata maaf
satu degup penuh dengan kata terimakasih

ada dua insan yang terpaksa bertemu kembali dalam kecanggungan lalu lintas cinta --dengan konstelasi dua hati yang tak bertemu dalam rasi
ashmarisya
07:58

Reuni #1

Srawung Sewelas 4
Kebetulan karena tahun 2014 lalu satu angkatan hampir seluruhnya tersita dengan KKN, walhasil program syawalan yang selalu diselenggarakan setiap tahun jadi tertunda. Ternyata oleh panitia dengan cetarnya kemudian diganti dengan acara reuni awal tahun yang penuh kejutan.

Kenapa kejutan?

Ya. Karena selain para manusia seangkatan yang sudah mulai berumur, hidup sudah mengubah hampir sebagian besar para makhluk ini.

Sampai-sampai dibuat backdrop super dahsyat ini.
tadinya pingin foto sendirian di backdrop ini tapi ah sudahlah...

Aku yang tadinya tidak berminat untuk datang (karena satu dan *uhuk* beberapa hal lain) akhirnya memutuskan untuk datang. Penuh dengan perjuangan karena kebetulan masih di tengah-tengah masa ujian.

Berhubung acaranya jatuh di malam minggu, jadi agak mencurigakan ketika aku gasrak-gusruk di kamar menyiapkan diri untuk reuni. Icha yang tahu aku akan datang ke acara reuni mendadak jadi kritikus mode yang betah menceramahi aku tentang betapa pentingnya berpenampilan selayaknya perempuan dan harus secantik mungkin dengan baju apik nan stylish plus make-up atau bahwa memakai rok akan meningkatkan kadar kecewekan serta penekanan pada kalimat reuni itu ajang cari jodoh!

Aku menolak. Dengan tegas.

Merasa aksi hiperbolis dengan berdandan dan berbaju cantik akan mengkhianati diriku sendiri, aku memutuskan berangkat apa adanya. Pakai baju main, tas kesayangan, sepatu kets, dan tak lupa jaket angkatan.

Hahaha ternyata sampai di acara reuni agak kebanting juga. Semua teman perempuanku benar-benar totalitas perjuangan. Rok dan dress bertebaran. Wajah bersinar berpulas bedak dan pipi merona merah muda karena make-up. Wedges dan heels dimana-mana.

Oh. Oke. Mungkin itu bukan perjuangan habis-habisan mereka. Mungkin itu memang sudah keseharian mereka dalam menjalani aktivitas. Who knows?

Ketika aku dengan lelahnya menyeletuk,"Temen-temenku berubah semua. Tambah modis. Tambah bersinar. Tambah tambah tambah", beberapa teman langsung membalas enteng,"Kamunya aja yang nggak berubah kali"

Aku langsung diam. Iyakah?

Apakah memang harus berubah sedrastis itu? Aku sendiri sering membayangkan aku akan berubah seperti teman-temanku itu. Mulai dari memperbaiki gaya berpakaian, belajar make-up, dan bersikap seperti wanita dewasa.

Aduh, sulitnyaaaa. Apakah memang harus bersolek begitu rupa untuk bisa diterima di dunia orang dewasa? Kalau begitu caranya, aku jadi semakin bertanya-tanya kapan hidup akan mengarahkanku untuk mulai berubah. Barangkali lusa. Barangkali tahun depan. Barangkali tidak akan ada waktu untuk itu.

Atau barangkali, ketika aku sudah menemukan orang yang tepat yang bisa membuatku untuk berubah menjadi sebenar-benarnya perempuan. Yah, barangkali?
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